Fate or Karma?

There are some people who you meet for a moment and the impression lasts a lifetime. This week I met someone who only for a brief moment has touched my faith in humanity a bit more.

Last week as I was at work I met a guy named Robert who was stranded in our small city of Brockville. Without getting into his story, he had no where to go and was waiting on his credit card to come to the bank so he could get home.

He was sleeping at the back door of my work and as my wife came to meet me, she came around the corner and he scared the crap out of her. I have her the brief summary of what happened and she walked over and handed him the last $10 we had to our name. It was also raining pretty heavy, so as I get home my wife runs in and gets a blanket for him.

Jump ahead to the next day and he was so thankful and was able to get a bite to eat and a hot cup of coffee. He wandered our small town and was just so amazed that the history we have here. I'd see him a few times over the weekend and we swapped numbers. When we saw him we'd give him water, snacks and food I was given from work. He was always so humble.

Being as I was homeless at some points in my life, I knew what it was like to have nothing and he was just as greatful for having someone care in a strange city.

Tuesday I was texting with Robert and he was talking about waiting on his credit card that he hoped came, but didn't. He was stuck in town for another night. On Wednesday I went looking for him and had a made sure that I had food for him and a proposition for him and I'm wouldn't take no for an answer.

The weather was hot, (about 35c with the humidity) and muggy and just all around crappy, we took him in. We gave him a dry place to sleep, a couch, we did his laundry for him. But the thing he was most grateful for was the shower. We wanted to show him that no matter how bad life can get, there is always a light of hope.

On Thursday morning my wife made him a breakfast of a king. He again told us we were to nice and that he hoped his credit card came in. Well he showed up at my work a few hours after I dropped him off and had the biggest smile on his face, his card came in. He tried to give me money and I told him all he owed me was a coffee, to which he gladly agreed to get.

At 8pm Robert was on his last leg of this crazy journey. We meet him to see him off and he hugged me and we said our "see you laters". On the bus he texts me and says

"It's the strangest feeling though. I'm happy and sad at the same time. Maybe I need to get a job there for awhile. Once I get back to my car I'll have to do some soul searching. I know there' s a reason I ended up there but  figuring out the answer is the difficult part."

He's home now and I'm glad to say that because of my past, a chance meeting and what some believe is fate he has a new outlook on life and I have some motivation to do something great.

Our Sunday Adventure.

I'm struggling.

It's been a bit since I've really written down my feelings. I've been struggling for a bit now and I haven't really told anyone and in not sure how to bring it up. 

Last week my wife with for Gastric Bypass Surgery and I'm proud of her for doing it. It was her choice to make and she did. It is a life style change for us all now and that is ok. I want her to succeed in this and be healthy for herself and our children. But that is where the struggle comes in. 

I'm feeling lost because I can't help her take away her pain, the children don't listen, I'm stressed out about school, my bussiness, life and honestly I've had the urge and dreams of drinking. I won't let that happen, but it's there. I honestly don't know how much more I can take before it all boils over. 

I am trying to hold it all together, but honestly I'm just feeling lost and I don't know what to do. People say talk to my wife, talk to my kids, talk talk talk. That is all I do now. I talk, I raise my voice in frustration, I walk away in silence. Nothing seems to work anymore. 

I'm just lost. I feel like I'm an invisible man or a floor that just gets walked on. I think I am about to crash. I sit and I cry in the bathroom where no one can see or hear me. I'll figure it out one day. Just hope at that point it won't be too late. 

2 wild years.

In the past 2 years I have had a lot of things happen. I've lost friends, family to cancer, lost friends to alcoholism, lost friends to suicide, I've had my own personal demons, I've tried to commit suicide myself, I've tried to walk away from my problems, I've helps friends stay sober, get clean, I've done races, trained with my kids, spent time with loved ones, walked away from others that were bringing me down and stepped out of my comfort zone and started going back to church. 

In the past 2 years I have traveled this path with people I've never met, people who have supported me and some who doubted that I could do this. My sober brothers and sisters I have to say thank you. In the past 2 years I've done things I would not have been able to do if I wasn't sober. I ran every race, did a half marathon, ran a half ironman distance race, started a business, came up with 2 more to start in the next few months, got elected to a board of directors for a local nonprofit housing corporation, became president of the local running club and am trying to work on our documentary about having Tourette Syndrome and training for an IRONMAN. 

I never know what the future will bring but I feel comfortable that I will hit it head on and take that SOB to the ground and beat it. Thank you for sticking around and helping me out. Let's make the next 365 days the best we can. 

Love you all

Chris. 

Changes ahead.

The biggest change is about to happen in 8 hours. In 8 hours my wife and I will wake up and she will start her shakes. 

For the next 3 weeks we will have to be careful what we do, because in 3 weeks on January 18th she will be having gastric bypass surgery. So starting tomorrow we will all change how we eat and what we eat. 

We all want to be healthy and she is my motivation to do better. I've been looking at clean eating, my workouts starting again and training kicking into high gear soon. I have people that want to workout with me, but soon I'll be here to help her after her surgery so I won't be able to go workout at the gym, I won't be able to teach my classes for a few weeks, or train much. I will be doing my training at night or early mornings, before the kids get up. 

I need to find my focus that I had a few years ago when I was doing P90x. I need to find my focus that I had before when I started running, I need to find my focus that I once had, so I can support my wife in her time of need. I need to find my way again. Here is to the changes that 2016 are going to bring, but to be honest I'm scared shitless about the future. 

KT

It's been awhile.

It has been awhile since I've posted anything. A lot has happened since that time, some good, some not so good, but I'm still holding strong with my sobriety. Although there have been some challenging times this year. 

I've had to deal with the passing of my dear friend Cathy in July to that stupid thing called cancer. Cathy was like a mother to us, a grandmother to our children and just a great friend in general. And just recently another dear friend Larry passed away after his long fight with cancer. I know that as much as I wanted them to still be alive, they are no longer hurting. 

Also during these low point in my life I have managed to do some pretty amazing things. I raised $2000 for the local handicap accessible playground that was destroyed by some teens who vandalized it by lighting it on fire. I help a hockey tournament which we collected Kraft Dinner for a homeless organization which helps get them off the streets  and lastly I hosted my first ever race event that I put together in 3 weeks, with no budget, minimal advertising and just word of mouth and the use of social media. We also raised $600 for a bursary to help people in affordable housing to pay down some of the college debt. 

I've been asked to sit on the board of directors for our local nonprofit housing corporation. I live in affordable housing, and having my input into what works or doesn't work here is just a small, but important role to me. It is teaching me what to do and what not to do, and that leads me to my last bit of challenges that I've overcome. 

Earlier this year I was told to stop running by my dr. I said I would after the 3 races were over. Did I listen? Kind of. I didn't train at all for any races this year. I would just go run the 5k races and was still in the 35 min range. I knew I needed to step up for my half iron distance in sept and about 3 weeks before I went for a 15 km run and that was it. I swam here and there, and the bike was a given, I love to bike. I set out to complete a half iron distance race, and I did. I came in second last and 2nd in my age category. 

On Thursday November 19th I won an award for my running. I received first in my age category (30-39), as I ran all my races this year with the local running club and as of that night I was elected as the president of our local club. That said I am excited, scared and nervous about the next chapters in my life and I know I have  the of the past committee to support me in the future. 

Here is looking on to a great 2016 race season, and a better 2016 personally. 

KT

It's time.

As I prep for bed at 8pm I think ahead of what tomorrow will bring. I will be doing one of my biggest races to date. I will be doing my first ever half ironman distance triathlon. I tried to train for this race, but sadly a lot of stuff has gone down and I haven't really done much. 

So tomorrow will be more about will and determination than training and preparedness. I know I can swim 1.9kms, I can easily bike 90 kms, I can run 21.1kms. I've done these things before, just not together. So this will be a pure mental race that I'm about to do. I will not have my cameras but I will make a bit of a video if I can on the way to, prepping and what ever I can along and after the race. 

And as soon as I'm done my race I need to head to the race track and do my stuff there and walk 10+ kms there too. Sunday can't come soon enough. Anyways I'm off to shave the head and pack the rest of my bag up for tomorrow. Have a great day tomorrow and I will update everyone on Sunday if I lived. 

Chris.