One day.

I can never express what happened between my mother and I, but we are not talking anymore. I have extended the olive branch to her over the years and it is up to her to accept it now.

As I was checking out some videos today I came across a video that really hit home for me. Now I don't have an estranged father or anything but I never met my father until I was 16. Was it her fault? I am not blaming her for that, but because of my childhood it really put a strain on our relationship over the years.



I have been able to forgive her and I do love her. I just don't want to hear about the past and I just want to move on with my life. I am not that stupid 16 year old kid anymore. I am a father, husband and I feel like I'm past that stage in my life. And that is why this song really hits home. No matter how much we don't get along I still love my mother and I hope that one day she will see this. I hope that one day she will call us and I hope that one day she will see her grandchildren again. I'm making this post public in hopes that she will see it one day.

I love you, Karen.

Your Son

Chris

April is...............

April is Autism Awareness Month. It is something that I am learning about because our family is having to learn about it, work with it and deal with new ways to teach. Why? Well I haven't spoken much about this, but over the last few years things in our family have been changed, but last week we found out that my 14 Year Old son Seth has Autism. For many years we would go to his school and ask for help and every time we got the same story, "Everything is fine" or "We don't have it in the budget. It wasn't until last year (2014) that sadly, it took an outburst of physical violence to finally get the help we've been seeking.

Now I'm going to admit that I am not the best person when it comes to this, as my parenting skills are not as, say refined as most. I never grew up in a normal environment. I was a run away and homeless at 9 years old bounced around the system a lot and so I never had that bonding experience until I was older with my father. 

When it comes to me I want things to be done, I want to be acknowledged when spoken to, I want to set the bar and lead by example. But in the last few months I struggle with this as I know now what I expect is not how he sees it. 

I am learning how to deal with this and I know that it will not be overnight, or even a week. It will be an ever learning experience and I am down for the learning curve that I am on. I just need figure it all out. My son Seth is my superhero and Autism is his Superpower, and I hope that one day I can understand what is going on in his head.

Brick Workout.

Today's brick workout sucked as I have always done my bricks indoors and not back to back.

The Bike

The bike part was good. Had a few close calls with stupid drivers and had to assert myself into a positive and respectful manner, even thou I wanted to snap. I kindly told one person that e had to give a cyclist 3 feet when passing not the less than a foot that they gave me. I had to ride into a 20+ km/h headwind to start and end my ride. Got a PR, KOM and a second place for the year on my ride too.

The Run

The run sucked. I went the wrong way and ended up starting on hills and just killed the legs. I walked a bit, got heckled by a friend and even had a woman say my legs are huge. I refrained and just said thanks. I kept run/walking and just powered the ought it when I wanted to quit. No music for the run and that was ok for me.

You can see my Brick Workout here,


Now I'm going to go make burgers and hot dogs for the wife and kids and go die somewhere. Have a great night everyone.

KT