I am going to go talk to someone to get
help.
I have been
sober from drugs for 10 years. I have been around people who are into it and I
have been able to say
"No thanks,
I'm good"
But lately I
have been fighting with my addictions allot more ever since moving here.
I know it sounds
weird but watching everyone be more freely with dealing I have the urges. I
want to walk up to someone and say
"Hey can I
get a half?"
I know that when
I think that it will make things better I know it won't. It
will destroy my family even more. I know that I am a role model to my
children, those around me and those that look up to me, and to my family who
even thou I am so far away they are proud of me.
In the last month it has gotten more out
of hand and I would rather sit and drink and smoke and snort away my problems.
I have no motivation to do anything. I don’t care anymore and I know that is
not a good thing, and I know I need the help.
I am seeing it in my demeanor, my attitude
towards my family, myself, my friends. I have been shutting myself off from
everyone and I have become an asshole to those around me that truly do care about
me and my well being. I'm becoming depressed and it truly sucks.
I see that I am not the man I want or
need to be. So next week I will make some calls and ask for the help I need. I
need to go to meetings and I need to sit and talk about my issues. I need to
get it out.
So I want to thank you in advance for
being here for me as I deal with this and I want to say I am sorry if I have
hurt you or said anything to you that may have hurt you. Please forgive me.
Thank You
Chris
Keep Triing
Chris'
ReplyDeleteI am just a phone call away any time of the day or night. Alcoholism destroyed my childhood and had me placed in foster care. Both my parents drank so from this perspective I can tell you what your children would be feelling .
I am so glad you have decided to get help. I would hate to see you destroy what you worked and struggled to build, Thing about the 7 lives you will affect each time you get that urge and the respect they have for you, never mind the friends you have because without your family you will lose a great part of who you are. Think about the personality you struggled to build. Get back to loving yourself Chris, because without self love you can not truly love other. I love you Chris, I love your family. Keep Triimg!
Find the right person and get talking. I know the feelings, though my troubles don't have to do with addiction, and they can overwhelm. I'm nowhere near an authority on recovery as I'm still working on all these things, but I know for sure that finding the right help has been, quite literally, a life-saver. My family and I are strong now where once we were so close to falling apart. Go. Be strong as you can and let someone else help you find more strength.
ReplyDelete